As a young girl I always had the sense that I didn’t quite fit in. I didn’t view the world in the same way that my peers did. Something was different.
I wasn’t particularly witty, or have many friends. I did well in school, in some ways I hid behind my academics so that I didn’t have to face the social aspect of life.
I seemed to lack the confidence or ability to create meaningful connections. This lead to a desperate loneliness inside and a longing desire for something outside of myself to make me feel better.
Then came the inevitable; sex, drugs and a whole lotta shame.
Acting out to get attention. Acting out to feel love. Acting out to please someone. Acting out to hurt myself. Acting out to sabotage my life.
Of course I didn’t realise this at the time. It’s only through years of deep, honest reflection that I have been able to see the truth. Every time that I behaved in this way it was because I didn’t value myself as I was.
I used drugs to give me fake confidence. I used sex as a tool of manipulation and to “be liked”. I drank to escape the misery I felt. My existence became a living hell, to the point that I couldn’t get through the day without annihilating myself with one substance or another.
At the point where I thought I couldn’t go on and tried to commit suicide something changed within me. Glimpses of hope for a life that didn’t have to be like this began emerging in my eyes.
I received a lot of support from my family, professionals and the few friends I had left. I was given the opportunity to start afresh.
My own recovery was a rocky road. I would trick myself and the people around me into believing I was better to only go and sabotage myself again. (This is why I have a good bull-shit radar when it comes to self-sabotage, because I know all of the secrets, lies and manipulations first-hand!).
Through trial and error, and some amazing therapists to whom I owe my life, I finally found myself in a state of stable recovery. I began to experience joy, pleasure, happiness and gratitude. These were feelings I had long forgotten in my darker days.
I got myself a job, a boyfriend and started moving on with my life. I was happy, yes. But fulfilled? Far from it. I was still scathed with insecurities and a longing for something more.
Through a sequence of Divine synchronicities I found myself enrolling on a course to become a counsellor myself.
Through my own recovery I had become innately aware of this desire within me to help others in the same way that I had been helped.
Fast forward a few years and I graduated university with a degree in addictions counselling. For me, the degree was so much more than a qualification. It was an immense amount of self-healing and a chance to finally give back. I learnt so much about myself and how I relate to others. I learnt to make genuine connections with people and realised that the only way this is possible is through dropping into the heart space and coming from a place of love.
I was incredibly fortunate to study at the best centre in the UK for addictions counselling and to have the opportunity to work in a leading rehabilitation centre. I worked with clients with a range of addictions, from sex to food, gambling to pharmaceuticals, alcohol and drugs. I began to understand that addiction is so much more than a physical dependence and that as a society we are PLAGUED by it.
In 2015 I was given the opportunity of a lifetime to come to Ibiza and work at a residential rehab centre. I packed up my life into a couple of suitcases and flew out to the unknown.
I had never even been to Ibiza, lived abroad or on my own at this point. I was utterly terrified but something inside me was pushing me on this path. I now can see that was my higher self directing me for my soul purpose.
I arrived with a handful of naïve beliefs and stereotypes about Ibiza. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Within a few weeks I found myself in a spiritual paradise and a community where my most transformative healing would take place.
It was Ibiza that made me. Oh, and Jamie...
Each encounter that I had was Divinely guided, the good ones and the bad. I took everything that I learnt from therapy, from university, from life and started to curate my own set of beliefs, values and compass.
I learnt what it really meant to surrender. I learnt what it really meant to trust. I learnt to listen to my intuition and speak to my guides. I learnt how to experience ecstasy through just being.
As my own spiritual path laid out magically before my eyes, I began to see the need for working holistically with my clients. I realised that there were things going on that we couldn’t necessarily see and things that needed healing on a quantum level.
I began learning energy healing, first in the form of reiki and then moving onto multi-dimensional healing as I felt the need to work on a deeper level. With these new found gifts I found myself working in a very complete way.
Following a series of life-changing experiences in Panama in 2017 I left the security of my full-time, wage paying, year-round job and dove into the depths of surrender and working only as a vessel for the Divine.
The opportunities that opened up to me as a result were nothing short of magic. I found myself facilitating events where incredible transformation was taking place. I gave healings that left me floating on angel’s wings. I felt completely satisfied and fulfilled. I had become whole.
I am living a life beyond my wildest dreams.
Not every day is easy, there are still challenges on my path, but I am living in a different reality to the one I used to know. I give my greatest thanks to the Divine and for all of the angels seen and unseen for guiding me to be where I am now.
That’s my home on wheels, Peggy. I travel around Europe with my beloved and our dog, Ananda, living, loving and experiencing the Divine. I offer healings, workshops and cacao ceremonies wherever we go. I am currently on a path of learning how to live sustainably from our beloved Mother Earth and so am looking to stay at various eco communities on our travels. My hands will either be dirty in the ground or raised up to the cosmos in prayer. One in the same.
Now that you know about me I would love to hear about you. Send me a note if you resonate with me and the work that I am doing. I would absolutely love to serve you.